Is it Time to Explore the Shoulds in Your Life?
 Hi there,
How many times a day do you find yourself using the word "should"?
ADDers are full of "shoulds": I should do the dishes, I should clean out the fridge, I should see that movie, I should call my friend, etc.
The word "should" can be very dangerous to an adult with ADD, because it often results in unnecessary guilt.
If you're carrying around a lot of guilt over the things that you tell yourself you should be doing, then it's time make a change. In order to break through this unnecessary guilt and to help you prioritize the things that are on your mind, try exploring your "shoulds" by asking yourself the following question:
Is this "should" a necessity, a desire, or guilt?
Here are some examples:
1. I should do my taxes.
Necessity: If you don't do your taxes, you can find your finances slipping out of control. You can end up owing the government penalty fees. And you will absolutely have undue stress. This "should" is a necessity.
2. I should buy that CD.
Desire: This is something that you want to make you happy. You like the music you hear, and therefore you want to own it. This "should" is a desire.
3. I should clean my house more often.
Guilt: If the "should" comes when you compare yourself to others, then guilt is probably involved. It often happens when we feel like we are not living up to the performance or expectations of others (or our perceived performance/expectations of others.)
If you visit a friend's house and it’s neat and clean, you may falsely interpret this to mean that your friend cleans all the time. In reality, your friend may have spent hours cleaning her/his house before you arrived to make it look nice!
If you are physically and mentally comfortable with the amount of time you spend cleaning your house, then cleaning more often is not a necessity and it's not a desire. It's merely a "should" that is nothing more than useless guilt!
Try this exercise for a whole day: Every time you find yourself using the word "should," ask yourself if it’s a necessity, desire, or guilt. I promise that you'll feel a lot better about all the things you think you "should" be doing!
What "shoulds" can you let go of in your own life? Please share your thoughts on my blog! http://www.experiencingaddvantages.com/2010/08/the-shoulds.html#comments
Now is a Great Time for Personal Coaching
For the first time in a very long time, I do NOT have a waiting list for personal coaching clients! So if you've been thinking about coaching with me, then now is a great time to begin.
I coach adults with ADD all across the country (and sometimes in foreign countries, as well) from all different backgrounds and lifestyles. I specialize in working with high-achieving adults with ADD including business owners, entrepreneurs, executives, creative types, rule-breakers, and mavericks.
I work with clients to manage a number of challenges in their lives that may or may not be related to ADD. We also work on enhancing strengths and improving the quality and enjoyment of life.
Some of the most popular coaching topics among my clients include:
- Becoming more efficient and effective at work
- Taking control of your time and tasks
- Breaking the cycle of overwhelm that leads to stress, illness, and general unhappiness
- Getting a new business off the ground
- Streamlining an existing business to become more efficient and profitable
- Pursuing important goals
- Managing stressful events and situations as they present themselves
If you're interested in coaching with me, have a look at the Private Coaching page on my website. Please note that I currently have a couple of slots open on Thursday afternoons (Eastern time) only, and that these slots will not be reserved without payment.
Fall is just around the corner. Why not get a handle on your challenges now, so you can be better prepared when life kicks into high gear again in September?
Visit my website to get more info, or to sign up for Private Coaching with me: http://addmanagement.com/coaching/privatecoaching.html
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I hope your week is off to a great start!
P.S. Remember: Every time you find yourself using the word "should," ask yourself if it’s a necessity, desire, or just unnecessary guilt!
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